Why is it that we don’t really reflect on what people mean to us until we lose them? Whether it’s a breakup, loss of a friendship, or death, it’s true that you don’t know what you had til it’s gone…but is that really true? I mean, if you stopped and thought about what your spouse, your grandfather, your child, or your friends mean to you right this minute what would that be? Why don’t we do this? Why don’t we tell each other how we feel? Is it because we don’t think we’ll actually ever lose that person? Is it because we’re afraid they might not feel the same way?
I’ve been thinking about this since my husband, Matt started talking a lot about what kind of legacy he wanted to leave behind for our son, Sammy. I thought, I wonder what Sammy will say about me when I’m gone. I wonder what he’ll remember and how he’ll feel about who I was to him. I wonder if he’ll know how deeply and unconditionally I love him and take peace in that. I also started thinking, I wonder if I’ve had an affect on other people’s lives. Isn’t that why we’re here? To leave a mark? To feel like we’ve been of value to somebody, anybody?
You hear it all the time: “Take the time to tell people how you really feel about them before it’s too late”. Which is great, do that, but I’m saying take it a step further and tell people how they’ve influenced you, motivated you, moved you, whatever! Sure you love your grandfather, but how did he actually impact your life? What do you carry on from his influence on you? If my grandpa was still here, I would tell him that he taught me to be strong, and sure of myself, and that I was a good girl. He also taught me to respect my elders and authority. He showed me that hard work and determination pay off and that family is the most important thing. He scared the shit out of me when he got mad (which wasn’t very often) and he made me glow when he laughed at my jokes. He scolded me for wearing jeans out to dinner and offered me his credit card to buy a “nice dress” to wear out. He called me “Annie Pie” and I loved that.
My grandpa passed away in 2011, at the age of 101. I told him I loved him often, but I never told him the rest of the story.
I’m going to start telling people the rest of the story. It might be awkward or scary at first…but I want people to know how they make my life on this Earth better. Let’s do this!!! #restofthestory