I’m sure I’ve probably used this title before because I tend to be someone that…well…wants to connect the dots. One part of this dot connecting has to do with my brain realizing that this little boy we had a bit over four months ago is my son and nobody is coming to pick him up. Yes, it’s true, I still have moments when I walk in the room and see Annie with him or I go get him out of his crib and it just doesn’t feel real. How can this be MY flesh and blood kid? It’s gotten quite a bit better but I still have those surreal, dream-like moments from time to time.
These dots are getting closer to being connected each day.
Connecting the dots also has to do with my own existence on this planet for 36 years. There’s no need to dive into the deep end of the pool in this blog post but I will say I’ve had a lot of issues in my life, some caused by me and some caused by others. Having Sammy has, in some ways, been a therapeutic venture. That is not why we decided to have a baby but it’s been an unintended side effect.
I can look at Sammy and imagine myself as a kid and make smarter decisions based on that. When you take the time to look at your life and see the good and bad I feel you can move forward and make these better decisions when it comes to your kids…IF you so choose. Many people don’t and end up passing on all their crap and drama to the kids. One of those things I really focus in on is my insecurity and lack of confidence, by focusing on this I can do better for Sammy. I can make smarter decisions in the moment and not do the things that would likely create a child to be insecure and THIS is therapeutic for me.
Connecting the dots yet again.
I think far too many people go through this life with the “go to college, get married, buy a house, have kids, do what we have to in order to get by, retire, die” to do list and don’t take the time to realize the opportunity that we have when we have a baby. Raising a human being is, in my mind, the most powerful thing you can do yet so many people waste the opportunity. This is not a knock against those without kids but it is a knock against those that have kids and can’t get over their own crap and be vested and invested in every aspect of their child’s life.
I’m using this opportunity to learn about myself and grow as well as to have greater understanding about my son and give him that love and support that EVERY child deserves. I’m connecting my dots and I hope you will too.
The video below has nothing to do with this post but Annie put together a bunch of sound bites of Sammy to make one video of some of the noises he makes. We will do this at different phases so we have it to watch later in life and embarrass him with. So…we wanted to share it with you too. Cheers folks!