Before I express my opinion I will say that the only reason I am is because I have recently heard about some group of people that got their panties in a twist when a mother said her husband was a priority over her child. I find it extremely fascinating that there are people out there that get so upset by something someone expresses but does no actual harm whatsoever. The three topics that usually bring about so much passion (and stupidity) are politics, religion, and parenting.
Now, my thought is that my spouse is my priority. If I put the child over her, I lose that connection with her. In other words, if my priority and focus is my son, that could lead to the relationship with my wife breaking down. The fact that Annie and I focus (at least we always try to) on our marriage means that we have a better chance of not only staying married for the rest of our lives but also having a more sincere, stable, fun, and meaningful marriage…which are all huge benefits to our child.
My belief is that most marriages fall apart due to money problems, growing apart, cheating, or the stress of children. So how do you best combat those issues? Well, if we are constantly working at our relationship and making it the priority it is my opinion that you stand a far better chance of having things work and not being a statistic. It means your child grows up with a more solid foundation.
I’ve read the other viewpoints and have tried to understand but I cannot. My son will grow up and leave our home one day. He will go off and start his own family. Who will be there for me? My wife…she is my partner and best friend. Nobody, not even my son, can top that.
It’s a matter of different feelings, that is set of feelings, and a totally different connection. It’s not a contest and it’s not something that you can measure. The bond with your spouse is one thing and the bond with your children another. What u probably mean to say is that by maintaining a healthy marrage you can strenghten the family and therefore it’s a priority before building and maintaining a relationship with your children.
Caring about your spouse will help you care even more about your children because they are a product of you both.
Always enjoy reading your posts. Cheers to the three of you 🙂
Matt (Dad to Little Browne) says
ratka…thanks for the comment!! I hear what you’re saying and by no means do I think it’s a contest but from my perspective (and this may all just be a word game) my wife is my priority over my son for the simple fact that by focusing on her I know we are building a strong foundation for the boy. Just as you say…”What u probably mean to say is that by maintaining a healthy marrage you can strenghten the family and therefore it’s a priority before building and maintaining a relationship with your children.”…that’s exactly it…she’s the priority. She will be there after he leaves the house and she was there before him. It was her and I and the importance of her and I that even allowed little man to be part of this world.
So yes, I do agree with you and I think we’re saying the same thing just using different words. By the way…sorry for the late response but I was having issues with accessing our own blog site. 🙂
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