Thatâ??s my grand advice on how to be a happy parent. You see, I donâ??t know that there really are a lot of â??happyâ? parents. You can sit and play games with what the definition of happy is but letâ??s just use it in general speak. Before I continue I will say that I do think there are happy parents but I think the largest percentage of parents are not happy as much as we could be.
For many or most of us, that moment when we become a parent to that amazingly beautiful bundle of joyâ?¦we are completely stoned. Donâ??t get me wrong, I remember so much of the first three months of Sammyâ??s life but holy crappola Batmanâ?¦I was in a fog thicker than Snoop Lion, Cheech, and Chong combined. I was a Will Farrell-esque mime trapped in a glass case of emotion and I didnâ??t even get the drugs Annie got.
What does all that mean? It means that for the first three months I was just coming down off the high of meeting a human that changed my life as I knew itâ?¦and will continue to do so.
Of course I was happy but mostly I was speechless, in awe, terrified, second guessing, and preparing for stuff but never knew what that â??stuffâ? was. When you have a child there is this huge sense (for many of us) of urgency, love, fear, and â??what am I doing and am I doing it rightâ?. By the way, when I say fear I was actually afraid of himâ?¦still am some days. So here you are, this massive urge and need to do right by this little helpless thing but absolutely no manual on how to do that and what â??do rightâ? really payday loans online no fax means.
We got a lot of tips from people and from different books or articles we read but the one thing I never heard was â??give upâ?. I really think the key to parenting is to give up. I think the key to being a happy parent is to give up.
How to be a Happy Parent
We need to give up all these expectations we hold ourselves to and just be in the moment.
We need to give up all the second guessingâ?¦it will kill you.
We need to give up on listening to others and all the wonderfully â??free adviceâ?.
We need to give up on the idea of â??perfect parentingâ? and â??perfect childrenâ?.
We need to give up on the idea that we will not screw them up the way our parents screwed us up.
We need to give up on comparing our parenting skills to other parents.
We need to give up on comparing our child to other children (who cares that that kid crawled first, Iâ??m sure our kid will be worth more money by the time heâ??s 30).
We need to give up on NOT trusting ourselves and our instincts as parents.
We need to give up on all those idiotic â??extreme parentsâ? that battle it out all the time over such issues as vaccinations, formula versus breast milk, the brand of diaper you use, and so on. Screw themâ?¦YOU ARE DOING JUST FINE!!!
Thereâ??s really only one thing you canâ??t give up onâ?¦and thatâ??s your kiddo. There will be moments where walking away and giving up for a second will be worth it to save your sanityâ?¦but all in all you just have to stop letting the doubt, the questions, the fear, or the frustration dictate or run the show. Just chill. Just be. Youâ??re doing fine.
Tristan Fairbanks says
Couldn’t agree more and I tell myself those statements quite often. Although I do have to admit, I have consciously struggled with not following patterns I didn’t want to pass along to my children. Being a parent is the most important role there is but enjoying it is equally important. It isn’t always fun but when we look back on their lives as they graduate high school or get married, we want to have the majority of those memories being positive ones.
Matt (Little Browne's dad) says
Tristan, I hear you. I think parenting is the most awkward, scary, insane, awesome, amazing, and depressing thing a human can do. Probably sounds dramatic but I’ll tell you what…I feel every one of those things at least twice a day. LOL 🙂
As the saying goes, You hit the nail on the head, bravo, we all learn from our growing up years from our parents teaching, and sometimes add or change things when we become parents that we missed out from… (I hated my mom comparing me with the neighbors kids) and yet not spoil them where they will grow up expecting the same in life as if the world owes them a living. Life is full of ups and downs, and how we make it, take the good with the bad. God didn’t promise a Rose Garden, it’s great to see the end results and be proud regardless what our children/child become as adults, we still love them unconditionally. At least when I die my legacy will carry on with my boys, to never break the bond of family, help each other in need, stick together, & love each other as they are. Your doing fine….Cheers!
Matt (Little Browne's dad) says
You rock, Beverly. Thank you and I completely agree with you. At the end of the day I think there are two types of people…the type that makes life more dramatic and insane than it already is and the type that does not. I try to be the one that thinks, adapts, grows, and learns in order to avoid the chaos. 🙂 Cheers to you.
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