Iâ??ve actually heard a lot of people say that having two kids is easier than having one and I would truly like to know what they are smoking. Having one kid is hard. Having two is harder. Having three becomes even harder. The only possible way to incorporate â??easyâ? into the conversation of having a child is that the second one can be easier because you know more about what to expect since you had the first one.
The same can be said about buying a house or car or getting married or divorced. The second one is only easier in the sense that you have a better idea of what to expect. THAT IS IT.
Now, as Iâ??ve stated before Annie and I are ONLY having one child so letâ??s simply talk about the art of parenting one child. Personally, I think raising a child is easyâ?¦it becomes hard when your brain wants to do other things though. It becomes this mentally and emotionally draining war in your mind. An example, I work from home and Annie works outside the home. In that sense I think Annie has it easier, when itâ??s time for her to work she gets to focus and work. I get pockets of time.
I am in no way complaining I am simply stating that what makes parenting difficult is when you canâ??t solely focus on the child. Sammy does not give a rats ass if I need to answer emails, go to a painting job site, or gather together some analytics reports for the social media stuff I do. He also does not care if the house is clean, the trash needs to be taken out, or there are no clean dishes left in the house. He truly gives no shit about those things.
All he cares about is being entertained, fed, cleaned occasionally, and being held here and there.
Thatâ??s the rub though; I donâ??t ultra slim electronic cigarette care as much about those things just like he doesnâ??t care as much about my things. Do you know who wins? The baby doesâ?¦of course. And I just have to get over it. I have to get over the frustration and exhaustion of battling wits with a one year old. I have to get over the things I think are important and instead work on those things when he gives permissionâ?¦meaning I do those things when he naps, when he plays alone (heâ??s started doing that and I love those 15 minute sessions), or when Annie is home to take care of him.
Back to the concept of two being easier than oneâ?¦it is simply not true. There is no way in the world that having two mouths to feed or two mouths that can talk back to you is easier than one. There is no way that two butts to wipe is easier than one or two sick children are easier than one. How about two college tuitions? Again, not easier.
Parenting is hard and as I wrote before about â??giving upâ?, itâ??s the truth. You really have to corral your wants, needs, and desires and realize that for especially the first year or two, your life takes a back seat. Itâ??s about taming your will and determination. A baby is like a brick wall, although Iâ??ve never seen a brick wall poop or spit up as much as a baby, they have their own agenda and absolutely nothing can tame that beast except time and some discipline as they get older.
One thing that Annie and I have said is that we are glad we decided to have ONE because we get to go through the experience but with each phase that leaves us we donâ??t need to go through it again. Itâ??s like a one way trip through parenting and Iâ??m thankful for that, I donâ??t think Iâ??m armed with enough selflessness to have two.
oh I totally agree with you!!!! I couldn’t agree more. Me and my husband just had our son 10 months ago and although, in SOME regards, its getting easier day to day ( hes speed crawling now though) so I have to constantly watch every single thing he does so he doesn’t fall down on himself. He now sleeps through the night, but we are still exhausted because when you have a child (even one, yes) your life does take a back seat, I don’t mind that I put my childs needs first, its just everything else that is associated with raising a child that is difficult. Such as taking a shower when your baby is crawling into your bathroom and wont take a nap when you NEED to shower and cant wait, or little things like you cant go out without bringing your whole house with you (huge diaper bag, change of clothes, bottles) etc. I love being a mother, and it def has made me less selfish of a person, but I know I couldn’t handle having another kid. My husband feels the SAME exact way. I am so fortunate we already know we feel complete as a family and were both on the same page. The first 6 months of my sons life I felt so mind numbingly exhausted I could barely get out of bed, let alone tend to a babies needs 24/7…and all during the night hours too on no sleep. He just started sleeping better, our lives have gotten a little easier, but It would get a lot more stressful if we ever had another one. I just remember me and my husband kept saying, “this is it, were never doing this again” the first 8 months of his life, and still stick to our word. Would things change and us want another? Who knows, never say never, but I doubt it. My husband is already in his late 30’s, by the time I would ever consider it, if I did I wouldn’t wanna start ALL over again with a baby, its exhausting. I don’t care what people say, having a toddler is NOT has hard as having a baby, or at least for us this first year has been brutal. he had reflux, colic for the first 4 months, wasn’t a good sleeper, and we both have to work, and always have, so to function working 40 hours a week on no sleep, and constantly tending to another persons needs is very , very tough. I commend people who want to do it again and again. Love your article!!!
Warrior, we totally agree! It’s definitely NOT easy and life as you know it is pretty much over. Our son is 15 months today and it has only gotten easier and easier, the more independent and communicative he gets. But there’s NO way we’re going through it all again. We’re happy with where we are and are looking forward to traveling with our son and getting him accustomed to our pace of life! Hang in there…it does get better and better!!!
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