Iâ??ve actually heard a lot of people say that having two kids is easier than having one and I would truly like to know what they are smoking. Having one kid is hard. Having two is harder. Having three becomes even harder. The only possible way to incorporate â??easyâ? into the conversation of having a child is that the second one can be easier because you know more about what to expect since you had the first one.
The same can be said about buying a house or car or getting married or divorced. The second one is only easier in the sense that you have a better idea of what to expect. THAT IS IT.
Now, as Iâ??ve stated before Annie and I are ONLY having one child so letâ??s simply talk about the art of parenting one child. Personally, I think raising a child is easyâ?¦it becomes hard when your brain wants to do other things though. It becomes this mentally and emotionally draining war in your mind. An example, I work from home and Annie works outside the home. In that sense I think Annie has it easier, when itâ??s time for her to work she gets to focus and work. I get pockets of time.
I am in no way complaining I am simply stating that what makes parenting difficult is when you canâ??t solely focus on the child. Sammy does not give a rats ass if I need to answer emails, go to a painting job site, or gather together some analytics reports for the social media stuff I do. He also does not care if the house is clean, the trash needs to be taken out, or there are no clean dishes left in the house. He truly gives no shit about those things.
All he cares about is being entertained, fed, cleaned occasionally, and being held here and there.
Thatâ??s the rub though; I donâ??t ultra slim electronic cigarette care as much about those things just like he doesnâ??t care as much about my things. Do you know who wins? The baby doesâ?¦of course. And I just have to get over it. I have to get over the frustration and exhaustion of battling wits with a one year old. I have to get over the things I think are important and instead work on those things when he gives permissionâ?¦meaning I do those things when he naps, when he plays alone (heâ??s started doing that and I love those 15 minute sessions), or when Annie is home to take care of him.
Back to the concept of two being easier than oneâ?¦it is simply not true. There is no way in the world that having two mouths to feed or two mouths that can talk back to you is easier than one. There is no way that two butts to wipe is easier than one or two sick children are easier than one. How about two college tuitions? Again, not easier.
Parenting is hard and as I wrote before about â??giving upâ?, itâ??s the truth. You really have to corral your wants, needs, and desires and realize that for especially the first year or two, your life takes a back seat. Itâ??s about taming your will and determination. A baby is like a brick wall, although Iâ??ve never seen a brick wall poop or spit up as much as a baby, they have their own agenda and absolutely nothing can tame that beast except time and some discipline as they get older.
One thing that Annie and I have said is that we are glad we decided to have ONE because we get to go through the experience but with each phase that leaves us we donâ??t need to go through it again. Itâ??s like a one way trip through parenting and Iâ??m thankful for that, I donâ??t think Iâ??m armed with enough selflessness to have two.