Yesterday, April 12, Sammy officially turned 30 months (or 2 1/2 years old) old. I can still say with the utmost sincerity that for me, there is nothing more surreal than parenthood. I have at least one moment every single day in which I am flabbergasted that I’m a dad.
When Sammy was 3 months old Annie went back to work. So from 3 months old to 30 months old I have been a work at home dad caring for Sammy 3 to 5 days per week (typically 4 or 5 days because there were times where Annie could work from home). In no way am I patting myself on the back but I have zero ideas on how I made it work. I mean, he and I are both still alive and we still seem to dig each other most of the time.
I cannot even begin to list the ways in which I’ve grown from this 30 month experience/ experiment. To add the fact that I have had so much one on one time with him, more than many fathers have, it has pushed me in ways I would not have otherwise been pushed. That pushing isn’t always good, it can cause frustration and even anger at times BUT we often grow the most when pushed. So in many ways I need to thank Sammy for pushing me and teaching me about the finer things in life…
Like playing in the dirt.
We don’t always need to hurry.
Stop worrying about work or staring at my iPhone and instead…look at the amazingness around you…even the bugs.
Making a mess is okay, clean it up later.
Jumping in puddles with brand new shoes on is really fun.
You see, Sammy has been one of the VERY few things in my life that have slowed me down. My mind tends to run 100mph in “be productive mode”. Hurry up. There’s more to do. I got to that rung on the ladder now I need to push to the next one.
Maybe he’s shown me my own mortality. Maybe my motivation to be a good father has forced me to get down on the ground (figuratively and literally) with him. Take a moment. Pause. Take it in. Smell the roses. Watch the hawks fly overhead. Play in the rain.
Without those reminders so many of us forget that we are living to live, not living to die. As I’ve said so many times, it’s designing your life versus living on a default setting. Sammy, in that respect, has been a mentor to me. My teacher. So I will just end by saying happy 2 ½ years little dude…thank you. And something I don’t say often enough, thank you Annie. For him and just being you.