Do you ever feel stuck? Do you ever tell yourself you can’t do something due to work, money, or family obligations?
Does the car you own define who you are to others? If you sleep on a mattress on the floor are you a lesser person? If you haven’t purchased a new pair of jeans in over three years are you cool enough to have friends?
What if you didn’t have to feel that way? What would it take to be genuinely and authentically happy?
I ask these questions because I want you to think, I want you to push yourself toward finding these answers and than seeing what you’re going to do about it. I ask because the way we currently define ourselves is shit and the time for change is now. I ask out of curiosity and wanting to learn…because I am as guilty as anyone.
My personal life journey has been full of excuses and self established boundaries. I have also defined myself by what I have, and therefore by what I don’t have (material things). Are you better than me if you have the newest cell phone and a way bigger desktop monitor than me? What I’m getting at is that happiness, and success, are not in a thing…they are inside of you. “Being happy” is a decision, it is a state of mind.
Things can offer momentary giddiness and excitement, but happiness comes from finding you and not allowing yourself to be defined by the things you own or how much money you have. That being said, we (my wife and I) work very hard to make money and I work very hard at building my business, but that is because I enjoy it…the process that it. But we have definitely made a decision to live with less “crap” and attempt to be more mobile…less stuff we’re attached to, the more mobile we become.
For the last five to seven years I have really been on this journey (although I did not know it when it started) to find happiness…and happiness for me was when I was able to determine who I am, not who others think I am. The ability to not attach myself to stuff, to not put so much value in “things” has been amazingly eye opening…and liberating. Also, getting rid of “stuff” and learning to live with fewer physical possessions has been enormously gratifying.
I am still working this whole thing out, fine tuning this and adapting to that…but I have never been happier…EVER! So you really should find out what’s holding you back, why you make excuses that prevent you from being happy; after all, this is our one shot at life, might as well make it a good one!!
Completely agree although my path has been a bit different. I stopped defining myself by material things many many years ago – but that didn’t stop my love for lots of “stuff.” However a couple years ago I got an itch to be more mobile, to live more simply, and my wife and I have been steadily getting rid of things. Lately I’ve been motivated by the “100 Things Challenge” – I’ll never get down to just owning 100 things, but it forces you to look at your crap differently.
That’s awesome Kevin…we will each have different “paths” and outcomes to those “paths”, I guess the point is to at least make people aware. We get so caught up in the stuff and than label ourselves by the stuff we have. A Mercedes means a person is this and a Ford Focus means a person is that.
Freedom could be the simple act of defining yourself by what you do and who you are, not what you have…not sure…my journey continues!! I really appreciate the comment and wish you nothing but luck!!
Great, unique topic that really hit home. Something that I am now sharing w my wife, colleagues and friends. I have been a poker player for many years and just like many people, I believed that happiness was a form of luck and that some people are destined to be happy while others are destined to be unhappy. What a horrible philosophy and learned just like you, the “law of detachment.”
Thanks for sharing.
Kyle, I honestly appreciate your feedback. I’ve been on this journey for some time now and am still amazed how much I continue to learn. I write about these thoughts and hope that they have some impact on someone…so again, I dig the comment. Cheers man and I look forward to chatting more about this stuff with you!!