I suppose I should dive a little deeper into that.
How many people do you know that are always angry, always complaining, always blaming other people, and always making excuses that are fun to be around or are “successful” (general definition applies) in life? If we were to be honest my guess is that the answer would be none.
I use to know this guy, knew him for a LONG time (TOO long if you ask me), that always walked around with a scowl on his face, had a chip on his shoulder, blamed others for his lot in life, was depressed more often than not, and always wondered what he “did” to deserve the crappy life he had. I mean, I liked the guy, but it sucked being around him.
My point is this…in my 34 years of life, the one thing I know for sure is that negativity breeds negativity and positivity breeds positivity. I know, I know…too simple. Well, have you tried being positive for long periods of time? It’s damn hard, until you get use to it from the inside out.
I know this from personal experience, because that guy I described earlier…wait for it…was me. My life sucked…and it sucked because of me…and my attitude. One of these days I will get into what created these changes in my life but for now I want you to trust me…I was that guy that was in the abyss of darkness…but my shift in attitude is 100% behind how I went from that place to the place I stand in today.
We see this all the time…the little kid dying of cancer but has this amazingly positive and upbeat attitude. We see it in the veteran that comes back from war with one leg and no arms…yet he is smiling and living life…imagine that, he’s smiling! And how about that mother of two young babies that loses her husband in something like 9/ 11 and she is laughing, smiling, and spreading the message of her husband.
Life…I said LIFE…is here for only a moment, and if you take the time to really observe and soak in what is going on around you…I am sure you will find that attitude is everything. Negativity is nothing more than an anchor in a sea of desperation and frustration. When times are bad negativity magnifies it and makes it worse. When times are great negativity douses the flame of happiness and passion.
A positive outlook…whether you are suffering from some illness, or you’ve lost someone insanely close to you, or you’re on the verge of being homeless….WILL make those moments of utter HELL…slightly better, which is better than making the negative situation enormously worse.
A few things you can do to get out of the negative rut and experiment with what positivity can do:
1) When you’re feeling crappy, help someone, that always makes you feel good
2) Next time you’re facing that wave of “my life sucks”, focus on something that will change your life for the better rather than how terrible things are
3) When someone you love passes away, remember back to some specific times that made you laugh. Also, focus the legacy you want to carry on for that person
4) Google the words inspiration and motivation, reading the stories and quotes that come up will help…they do for me
5) Talk to someone, build relationships…we all need people to lean on!
There are numerous other things you can do, but this is a start…and again, the point is to be able to monitor and be aware when you’re in the “funk” and test yourself, use some of the above listed tactics and watch the change happen. It will take time to convince yourself, after all, you’re being negative…but stick with it. You are the only one that can make YOU happy or not…it’s your choice on how you internalize things and the perspective you decide to take on what is happening around you.
Choose the good…life is far too short!
Side note: My good buddy Cheri ( on Twitter: @ArveyColumbus ) and I came up with doing a post like this. We’ve had many conversations about the above topic, I always value her insight to life, thank you Cheri!!
- Learning To Take Action (matthewliberty.com)