Quick story: my wife and I were in the downtown area of where we live around noon on a Sunday eating lunch, having a couple beers, and working on our laptops. This group of four guys (and a baby in a stroller) were sitting nearby and one guy in the group was quite loud, and in my opinion obnoxious. They were talking about this and that but I quickly picked up that the loud one was a local business owner and was amazed that every fifth word out of his mouth was “fuck”…as I looked around the place, the two tables nearest them had older couples at them, so he obviously had no concern for offending anyone.
When his cell phone would ring he would answer it by stating his business name, which was letting everybody in the place know who he was and what business he owned, which will end up impacting his business for sure. The last time he answered the phone, once he knew who it was (guessing it was a friend)…he said “fuck you and your kid”. The most ironic thing was he had brought up customer service and was “preaching” about it to his buddies.
My point: as a business owner myself, I know that every time I put something out there online or off line…my reputation (business and personal) will be impacted positively or negatively. Now, do I think you should change who you are just to appease others…absolutely not, but there is a line. And for me, this guy crossed the line in a big way and unfortunately for him, his business and some stuff my wife and I do are directly related’ which means I can directly impact his business.
You never know who is around, who is listening, and how many people they may know or what have you. I feel bad that this guy does not get it…I feel bad that he allows his insecurity and ignorance rule his life, it WILL catch up to you…it always does.
One of my favorite mentors told me that when someone is loud and uses profanity in speech and/or supposed humor what they are really doing is trying to get attention by being shocking. Now why would someone want shocking attention? Well, because it’s attention and that type of person will take it however they can get it. Too bad the others he was with didn’t have a way of curtailing his brash personality. And you’re right about one thing, if I needed the services of the type of business he owned and I recognized the name from association with this kind of experience, it would be the very last business I would approach for help…no matter how good the guy may be at what he does for a living.
Dana Hanson says
Thank you for posting this Matt. Consideration for others has taken a definate nosedive. Our words impact everyone within hearing distance, be it positive or negative.
Have a great day.
Shawn Burgert says
Such an awesome point Matt! I always say there are 2 kinds of people, those that “get it” and “those that don’t.” Guess we all know the box to toss him in. I spent 10 years in serving guests in every restaurant capacity except chef. Serving is all about being considerate of others and not about yourself. This man you mention sounds to be 100% self-centered, and a obvious detriment to himself.
Something I try hard to remember is you often never know who you might be talking to or around you. You might be speaking with the spouse of a winemaker or owner or family friend, etc. Wine communities are way too small to jack around and be disrespectful.
Here’s a good example. Many years ago I was driving in West Paso when we pulled into a winery. A car beautiful car followed behind me and parked with a lone elderly man. I thought he might appreciate some conversation as he was obviously alone. We started talking about his car and mainly had a car conversation. We then moved on to the winery and I shared how much I love a particular wine this winery produces.
He was extremely gracious, kind, interested, and curious. So I kept talking and engaging. When we got into the tasting room he said, my name is Art, glad you like the wines, and shock my hand. Then he walked into the back office to go to work at his winery. So glad I was complimentary of his Monster Zinn!
Thanks Cheri, I’m glad to have you back!! I agree with you completely in regards to the need for attention…some people are hoping for attention from their behavior but it brings attention that they really don’t want, or at least shouldn’t want. Cheers Cheri, and thank you again!!
Dana, absolutely spot on, our words and behavior impact others more than we know…and at the very least we should simply have more self respect. Seems a lot of people don’t like themselves and act outward to bring the rest of us down…cheers and thanks for the comment!!
Shawn, awesome story…you never know who you’re dealing with, which is even more reason be live with self respect and always respect those around you. We are all on this life journey together, we need to spend a little more time connecting and being helpful versus acting like a pompus ass…sad that there is not some punishment for people that behave this way. Cheers man, and many thanks!!