There…I said it. And so many people will think that this title is too abrasive or too blunt, but I ask you, can you say it doesn’t suck? Cancer sucks right? And there are a bunch of other things that suck too but maybe stating it that way isn’t the popular route and I simply don’t care about popular. I am here to voice my thoughts and add value by doing so. How? Because there are a handful of people out there that think like me and I’m willing to be the spoken or written voice for them and attempt to motivate
them toward a higher thinking on certain issues.
So…down to the nitty gritty. Annie and I were pregnant, and then we weren’t…due to a miscarriage. It was her first time, and mine, being pregnant and evidently this miscarriage thing is as common as leaves falling off the trees in autumn. Annie is about to be 40 and I am 35, yet we have been absolutely blown away by how common this is…astounded even. From published statistics to what a doctor has stated, it seems 30% to 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage…many of those are miscarriages women have prior to even knowing they are pregnant.
I’m not a doctor, and I don’t want to be one so we’ll stick to the opinion and emotion side of things. When we found out we were having a baby we were scared for a few hours and then we remembered that we had planned this. We were extremely excited, along with slightly nervous and anxious, but the amazing reaction from family and friends online and off line was beyond words…you guys made us feel so loved and cared about that we thought how amazing it was going to be to have a baby with all of you on the journey with us.
Then, it happened…a miscarriage. Annie has had some emotion over it for very obvious reasons…I did as well, although, after thinking about it for half a day or so we realized that there was one bad thing from this and numerous good things. The bad thing was the miscarriage itself…the good things were 1) we found out all of our plumbing works 2) we found out how supported we were by you guys and how loved that baby would be 3) how much closer Annie and I felt 4) that miscarriage is extremely common so women should not feel guilt or fault and 5) we feel this one may not have been meant to be (the whole nature thing you know?).
Bottom line is this…if you’ve gone through a miscarriage…we now know how you feel and you’re not alone. As I stated above this is a SUPER common thing, it’s still sad but take solace in that. Lastly, even though I am not the most positive person ALL the time, I keep trying to focus on those things that I have power over versus things I do not. I have the power to focus on the negative thing, in this case the miscarriage, or I can attempt to focus my thoughts on all those positive things I shared above. Life is good when we get out of the way and let it be…listen to my words or don’t, I just ask that you find comfort in something…share your story, focus on family and friends, focus on your significant other…there is comfort to be found, so find it.
P.S. I really do want to send a very sincere thank you to the hundreds of people that commented on the news of us being pregnant, and all those hundreds of people that did so again when they heard the not great news of miscarriage. Your support has been truly beyond words. The power of a community is fantastically outstanding!