Who’s That Guy In The Mirror?

July 11, 2013 matt 545 Comments

I recently went back through my Facebook stream as well as Little Browneâ??s Facebook stream to the day he was born. Talk about interesting. It seems like so long ago yet feels like yesterday. He will be nine months old tomorrow, Friday July 12, and I am often still stuck in this very surreal, hazy place in my mind. Itâ??s like time is standing still yet flying by at 100 miles per hourâ?¦intense.

As I was looking at those first pictures I posted on the two Facebook pages along with all the truly amazing comments from so many of you, I started tearing up. I know Iâ??m not supposed to do that because Iâ??m a man and all that but it still boggles my mind how much our online and off line friends gathered around us and supported us on the roller coaster.

I was messaging with Jeannette B. on Twitter the other day and she reiterated how so many were on â??baby watchâ?, waiting to hear the first news of his arrival and see the first pictures. She said, â??You donâ??t realize how many people DO like to get the updates and keep up with you & Sammy. Heâ??s OUR baby too.â?

That is humbling, amazing, and inspiring to me.

Itâ??s humbling because it reminds me just how much good is still in the world and how so many people projected that â??goodâ? on to us as we were preparing to have Sammy. Itâ??s amazing because I guess I never expected such a reaction from people. Itâ??s inspiring to me for many reasonsâ?¦to see and feel a sense of community like that all around a baby is simply awesome. I wish every single child had an opportunity to know and feel that.

So why did I title this â??Who’s That guy In Klonopin Online The Mirrorâ??

Wellâ?¦after looking back at those pictures on Facebook and seeing where life is today, nine months later, I wonder who that dude in the mirror is with a few more gray hairs and bags under his eyes.

I wonder who that guy in the mirror is that has a cloth diaper hanging out of his back pocket in case the little dude spits up.

I wonder who that guy in the mirror is that is at home in the middle of the day on a Thursday instead of out working.

I wonder who that guy in the mirror is that has two monitors on his desk, one is the computer and one is a baby monitor.

My life has changed. I have changed. I donâ??t know what tomorrow will bring. Every single moment is a crapshoot. Sammy has had a great first half of the day but that could change when he wakes up from this nap. Iâ??ve always talked about living in the moment but Iâ??ve always sucked at taking my own adviceâ?¦Sammy makes me live in the moment even when I fight it. What sounds like baby mumbling and gibberish is actually him saying, â??hey dad, just relax and enjoy this moment with meâ?. Pretty cool of him to remind me, I appreciate it.

I guess what Iâ??m trying to say is that I seriously donâ??t really recognize myself anymore. That has bothered me before but today, after putting Sammy down for a nap and finally having time to brush my teeth and run cold water on my faceâ?¦I saw that guy in the mirror againâ?¦and today I like him. Not to sound too stupid but Iâ??m actually kind of proud of him. I wish I was as calm, adaptable, and into my son as much as he is.