Brushstrokes

I think our life is a canvasâ?¦or maybe itâ??s a toolboxâ?¦or something similar. From day one we are adding things to that canvas or to that toolbox. Things like memories (good and bad), people, education, books, trees, mountains, rainbows and every little thing we encounter throughout our days. Each little thing is a brush stroke upon that canvas or a new tool we add to that toolbox.

Maybe the canvas is a better example because itâ??s more permanent. Once the brush stroke happens itâ??s hard to take it back whereas with a toolbox you can easily remove tools from it. The point is that we accumulate all this stuff. Itâ??s in our minds, our hearts, our souls, and all around us in our homes. It is both tangible and intangible things that occur in our lives minute by minute and day by day.

Many of us allow these things to become an anchor. We let bad memories, our house, and all of our stuff kind of weigh us down and stifle who we could be. As I write this I look down at the 10 feet of counter space beside me here at the bar in the kitchen and itâ??s littered with shit. Itâ??s my shitâ?¦papers, notebooks, thank you cards I keep meaning to send out, and magazines Iâ??ve picked up from local wineries that I wanted to read but am â??too busyâ? to.

This is the tangible stuff. Itâ??s all crap. It weighs my mind down. When I walk around my house, or anyoneâ??s house for that matter, I literally feel claustrophobic if thereâ??s too much stuff. When Christmas is over I love taking the decorations downâ?¦it makes the house feel bigger and roomier again. It makes me feel less anxiety. A lot of people also have this issue with their home, subconsciously or consciously, but they have it. Their home weighs them down, they donâ??t feel free.

All that tangible stuff is around us all the time and it affects us whether we think it does or not. Memories do the same things. Experiences weâ??ve had in life impact us daily, good VolumePills and bad. We even have these soundtracks that play over and over in our head. For those of you with positive, happy soundtracks that is so cool, Iâ??m jealous. Many of us have crappy soundtracksâ?¦ones that say stuff like: â??Iâ??m too fatâ?, â??Iâ??m too paleâ?, â??I canâ??t do thatâ?, â??Iâ??m not smart enough to hang out with those peopleâ?, â??I donâ??t deserve really awesome stuff so just settle for mediocreâ?, â??Iâ??m not worthy ofâ?¦anythingâ?, and so on.

I must say that my soundtrack has gotten so much nicer over the last few years but it took a lot of work to get to that point. I still have days though where Iâ??m the biggest jerk to me; Iâ??m not too fond of those days. This is the point though, with all of these brushstrokes we need to remember that there is purpose behind them. Each brushstroke is part of who we are. Itâ??s another layer, another color, another dynamic of us.

I donâ??t think life is about one brushstroke. Some moments suck and some are exhilaratingâ?¦just as some brushstrokes may not be perfect and some are. Itâ??s taking all of that into account and attempting to have a positive perspective on it. Each brushstroke makes the painting, even the ones that may not be noticeable.

All that said; I look at Sammy and how many brushstrokes are left in his life. Iâ??m not sure that I will be able to teach him these lessons earlier in life. Kids think they know it all and tend to have to learn from their own bumps and bruises. I can however attempt to let him see a good example of these things so I have my work cut out because Iâ??m screwing up more than I want to.

Takeaways and goals: Go minimal with physical possessions, bills, money, and even with how much junk youâ??re carrying around in your mind (let go). Bad is going to happen no matter what, learn from it and move on. You will screw up no matter what, learn from this as well and move on. You have a lot more brushstrokes to goâ?¦make them count.