From the outside it always seems that new parents are doing just fine. When you see them they appear to be in good shape and they never say anything that would lead you to think otherwise. They post cute photos on Facebook and make funny little comments about their little, tiny, angelic bundle of joy.
How do I know? Because I did that too. And maybe some of these new parents really do have their â??stuffâ?? together and it truly is the most magical time of their lives. To those peopleâ?¦I think youâ??re slightly crazy and I would consider getting checked out.
Iâ??m assuming I looked and acted relatively normal after Sammy was born. Correct me if Iâ??m wrong. The point is, I wasnâ??t normal. Sure there were amazing moments of cute, loving bliss being a new dad but other than that I lived in the â??new parent fogâ?? and often looked in the mirror and thoughtâ?¦â?what in the hell have you done, you canâ??t keep a baby aliveâ?.
That may sound funny but it was the truth. Hell, Sammy is now going on 21 months old and I still have days as Annie walks out the door to go to work where I get crazy nervous. Nervous about how I will keep him occupied. Nervous about not wanting him to bleed or die on my watchâ?¦how would that make me look?
On top of that, Iâ??m selfish. Just like you. I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I want to go to bed when I want, work when I want, workout when I want, eat a cheese stick without having to hide it so he wonâ??t want one too since he already ate two, and not have to tiptoe around the house when the little human is sleepingâ?¦meaning, I want to be noisy if that makes me happy.
For each new parent the journey is different. A lot of what the parent will go through is dependent on how involved they are, how much time they spend around the kid, and obviously the parentâ??s personality and take on life. It is certainly an adventure. It has its ups and downsâ?¦some days it feels like there are no ups and thatâ??s very normal.
Iâ??ve had to adjust how I think about things and what my priorities are in order to take this adventure. Prior to doing so every day was stressful. I was living on his sleep schedule, his eating schedule, his everything schedule and rememberâ?¦Iâ??m selfish. It was a real slap in the face. What did I do to deserve this prison?
Then you remember that you wanted a child and chose to do that thing that creates babies. Being a parent is tedious and time intensive. Itâ??s also hilarious and adorable and messy and gross andâ?¦well, itâ??s all the things.
The biggest stress comes from trying to impose your will on a slimy, carefree child that has zero understanding of anythingâ?¦at all! I mean, Iâ??ve told Sammy not to touch the iPhone/ Bose radio a gazillion times and he still does it. In fact, he will pull the phone right out and go walk around with it like I wonâ??t notice the music stopped.
The best advice is to enjoy every moment and every phase they go through. Every phase has its good things and bad. Once that phase is behind you and a new one comes along youâ??ll wish for the old one some days. Thatâ??s the nature of the beast. And yesâ?¦I just called my child and yours a beast.
Youâ??re not always going to be great but in my mind what makes a great parent is that you keep showing up, you keep loving them, and you learn as you go. Let go of yesterday and donâ??t worry about tomorrow. Be in the moment right nowâ?¦you will never regret that.