Answer number one to the above question is fear. Most people fear the what ifs, the unknown, therefore failure is eminent because they never even begin the race. I’ve read a lot about this and much of it makes this sound like a simple hurdle…and it is not! Overcoming fear is complicated for most folks because it’s engrained in our brains, our hearts, and every other fiber of our being.
Your level of fear is due to how you were raised, your environment, whether you’ve had a lot of support or not, your own specific personality, and so on. So, you can see that for many people the overcoming of fear would be quite difficult. The best way to start this process will depend on how much discomfort you can take at once. For myself, some things have been gradual while others I chose to dive in head first.
The best thing you can do is start, no matter what it looks like you HAVE to start! Nothing changes without a catalyst and if you’re holding on to fear that catalyst can’t work appropriately. Overcome fear and you’re halfway to a much happier life!!
Answer number two to why most people fail is not that they don’t start, they are actually quite good at starting…the problem is that they quit in the midst of things. That whole “quitters never win and winners never quite” is pretty darn accurate. Quitters hit brick walls and freak out, they don’t persist through the problems and hardships. Not sure where I heard this but I loved it; someone was referring to brick walls and said they were there to prove/ show how badly you wanted something…love it.
The way to overcome quitting is to first realize that is what you are doing. Many people don’t think they are quitting because they use supposed “logic” to walk away from something…stop convincing yourself to give up. You have to be able to power through and risk failing in order to find success. You need to know that WE ALL fail, but you can never find success without that failure, period!!!
Now, go start the process of overcoming fear and letting go of “quit”!! YOU are absolutely capable of doing whatever you want! Cheers and good luck!!
So funny Matt, it has gotten to the point each day that I can’t wait for this blog to pop up on my email list. I always want to comment too. Not the norm for me by far!
Your points here are spot on. You fail when fear holds you back from change. Most fears are conditioned. And you fail when you don’t start. Thus missing out on what can turn out to be an incredible journey.
But how does one overcome all of this fear? I like your statement at the end…you ARE capable of this! Except you know who’s listening to you? Me who knows this is true because of experience. AND maybe some your friends who might not know because they have let fear hold them back from doing what would make them happy. Yep, just sitting there thinking, ‘Wish I could be more like Matt’. [You forgot the section on HOW to be like Matt! But I’ll help you out…]
#1.) Goals are not suppose to be emotional but fear is emotional. So find someone you totally trust to give you emotional support. This needs to be someone that will tell you the good and the ugly, but is only telling you the ugly with your best interest at mind. Matt has his wife Annie. She’s positive and supportive. He can run ideas past her, ask her opinion, belly aches to her when something doesn’t go well and can drink a great glass of wine with to celebrate when it does. It doesn’t have to be a spouse though. Maybe it’s a parent, a brother, your best friend or a mentor.
#2.) Matt outlines what he’s going to do and how he’s going to do it before he begins. If you’re starting a business for instance, analyze the business plan your bank will surely ask to see. At each step go through the what ifs…in other words, remove as many of the what if fears as possible before you start.
#3.) Set a starting date. Can’t you just see Matt grab a calendar, choose a date, circle it and then look at that date everyday until he got started? I can.
#4.) Build periodic review dates into the plan. Matt would never hem himself in a corner just to complete a step he wrote at the beginning of his journey, especially if an unanticipated opportunity popped up that he didn’t see coming. Plans evolve just like people can. Matt has learned this from past experience.
#5.) Like Matt said…You are absolutely capable of doing whatever you want!
Wow Cheri, between this blog and our wine blog, your comment today floored me the most. In fact, I am thinking of making your comment a blog entry at some point, regarding my thoughts on it.
You’re dead on with your comments. Fear is a killer, and not giving yourself the tools or permission to overcome those fears in order to have a happy or successful life saddens me.
Regarding the last part of your comments, you blew me away. You obviously have a lot of insight into personalities like mine and I appreciate your amazingly kind words!!
Let me know what you think about me potentially turning this into a blog post. I can write it up in the next week or two and let you proof it before posting.
Thanks again Cheri, I absolutely appreciate (and learn from) your comments!! You rock!!
Wow Matt…great post!
Hey Cheri! It’s really cool to hear your insights into Matt and his life. You’re dead on! He’s an insanely smart and meticulous guy, and I do my best to stay out of his forward progress, yet still support.
As for my thoughts on the post…my view point has always been this: fear is an irrational reaction to the unknown. Once we know what it is that we fear, it turns into something else…nervousness, anger, anxiety, love, etc. Humans are pretty creative and smart beings, we do a great job talking ourselves in and out of just about anything! Once you know these things about yourself and others, it makes it a lot easier to identify the rationalizations and procrastinations going on all around you, as well as within you. My personal goal is to look the fear in the eye and quietly go about my business defeating it and moving through!
Well, that…and following my husband around while he does the same!
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