I think each one of us is a diamond in the rough. Our actions and choices determine whether we will stay in the rough, or come out of that and shine.
Life can be very difficult, I get that. Really bad things can happen to really good people, I get that too. The point is, life happens, with or without you it just does. Even though this is super easy to understand, I struggled with this for a long time and I know millions of other people do too.
I was constantly butting heads with life, not understanding why I was dealt this hand and not that one or not given that opportunity. This behavior is pretty typical for people in general but when you suffer from depression, like I did/ do, fighting things you have no control over is a complete waste of valuable energy and time. Doing this sent me down the rabbits hole more often than not and once I get down there, its a battle to come back; which is why it is so important for me to avoid the traps.
The biggest trap Ive learned to avoid is fighting the things that I cannot change. I cant change the fact that there are idiot drivers out there that dont use their turn signals or that cut me off. I cant change when the sun rises and sets. I cant change the miscarriage we went through. I cant change that I have something like depression. I cant change yesterday.
How crappy is that? You mean I have to just deal with all that? The quick answer is yes.
No wonder people are angry and disillusioned. No wonder people get so frustrated and give up. No wonder theres so much violence and crime. No wonder people dont smile at each other and say hello on the streets. Life sucks; and to top it all off we are shown how much more it sucks every time we turn on the news. We have wars, Sandusky, Wiener politicians, corruption, greedy jack holes, a broken government, crappy economy are you feeling good yet?
Its so hard to put a smile on your face when you look at the overwhelming piles of dung being shoveled on to us minute by minute, day after day but then something struck me, it was genius!
I can choose how I react to all of this that I cant change!
Simple but true, and quite difficult to enact and be consistent with but there it is dont let all the crap, all the horrible things going on around you own YOUR thoughts, ideas, life, or mood. You want to fight for something? Fight for your life, do whatever you have to do to shine through all the darkness.
I cant change the news but I can turn my television off. I cant change that its cold outside but I can enjoy it for what it is and realize the temperature will be different tomorrow, next week, or next month. I cant change those people that wont smile at me on the streets but I can smile at them. I cant change Sandusky but I can fight for children if thats a cause near and dear to me. I cant change that cracker jack driver in front of me not using his turn signal but I can realize that maybe its broken or possibly he is distracted because his dad or son just died.
Life is about perspective. Life is about owning your thoughts.
Nobody can make you feel a certain way unless you give them the right to do so.
This new way of thinking was the most eye opening, empowering, and liberating thing so far in my 35 years. It has helped immensely with the depressions stuff so long as I am on top of things and remind myself that I own that moment and my thoughts. This way of thinking has helped me spend more days out of the rough, and more days shining. Thats the goal right? We cant stay out of the rough every single day forever, but we can fight for the shine! How bad do you want it?
Tina Swithin says
Awesome post, Matt. Spot on!
Thanks Tina…took me a while to understand that, but it’s pretty enlightening. A work in progress!!
Jackie Shelley (@jackinessity) says
Right there with you, Matt. Your attitude is inspiring. Thank you for this~
Miss you, both online and IRL. We should catch up as soon as we can!
Thanks Jackie…I feel like I’m just spewing thoughts and ideas I have. But it seems helpful to me and to others that have depression or just aren’t feeling all that good. YES, catch up soon is a must!! 🙂
Outstanding, several lessons in this “attitude” ” we own are emotions & reactions” “life isn’t fair”… The later reminds me of when I saw a good friend explain to 9ish year old daughter when she said “life wasn’t fair”… “life isn’t fare, it is what you use to ride a plane, train, bus. life is about how we deal with what is presented to us and the unfairness”. I still remember it to this day and best lesson for me too! Thanks
Hey there Denise…I appreciate your thoughts! Life is what it is, it’s all about how we choose to react!! Cheers to you and many thanks!!
Yes to all of it. And yet so very hard sometimes to practice. Can never hear it too many times though. Thanks!
Xochitl…no doubt right?? It seems the things we need to learn most are things we already know and simply need the reminder of. I appreciate the comment and supprt!