I don’t like it when I am in situations in which I allow other people to make me feel inadequate or inferior. My frustration use
to be directed at those people but I realize it isn’t them creating that feeling in me, it’s my own self-doubt coming through and fostering a place for those feelings.
I will write more about this for my next article but I was actually more curious to see if anyone out there would talk about some of their experiences. Do you ever have those moments when someone makes you feel inadequate or inferior? Is it them or you? What do you do to deal with those situations?
Hey Matt, I’ll step out off my comfort zone and share a personal story on this subject. I’m the second born of four children with a brother who is 2 yrs. older a sister 16 months younger and a younger brother 4 yrs younger. When my sister was born my mother started using the television to “babysit” me. My older brother didn’t want to be bothered with his siblings and was always rather short tempered. I was always happy by myself but grew up being very quiet and unable to articulate very well. I was so quiet that one evening at the dinner table I had something I wanted to share and after sharing it my dad said “did he say something” and everyone laughed except me. I know he didn’t intentionally mean to ridicule me but it crushed my spirit to the point where I did feel inadequate and inferior and as a result of that incident I’ve always been more of a listener than a talker. It’s important for parents to understand that they have a huge influence on whether or not their children grow up feeling inadequte or inferior to those around them.
Cheers!
Duncan, I can relate to that story and I appreciate your openness. It’s funny how those little events can make us feel something so much bigger than the “little event”. As a child we don’t really have the skills to take things like that, at my age now I have to own how I react to situations and not allow others to have that much power over me. Cheers Duncan, really appreciate the comment!
In the past, I thought that some family members were critical of my house (too small, to messy, etc.). I finally realized that *I* was uncomfortable with some things about our house. I have no idea whether the family members have an issue, or not. I just know that if I didn’t care, it wouldn’t bother me, no matter what they thought.
On the other hand, I have always claimed that no one says anything snarky to me about homeschooling. My husband has recently informed me that they do, but apparently I’m completely comfortable with that decision, so it rolls off my back so completely that I truly don’t even know it’s happening.
Jill, your comment fascinates me and you are so right. Isn’t that interesting? When we are so comfortable with something we tend not to notice others discomfort…wow, eye opener!! Thanks Jill!
I can relate, yes we are in charge of our feelings and how we react to what others say and don’t say. As a child “little Event” are big and do shape as an adult. I like Duncan have a similar “Little Event”. I have 4 siblings, all brothers with only 1 younger. Often when I would speak up, 1 of the older brothers would say “Who cares about your penny worth” neither parent did anything when this was said and all brothers laughed. Thus, I am much more of a listener, only speaking when really comfortable with the people and subject. I learn a lot by sitting back watching and listening…. :^)
Denise, it’s always so interesting how those little things have so much impact on us. I think it’s up to us to try to notice those things that may not be suiting us well and attempt to make adjustments, like when I feel someone else is making me feel inadequate all I can do is try to understand where that comes from in me and do something to correct it. It’s difficult sometimes but vital to living a happier life. Cheers Denise!
So true Matt and spot on!
Thanks Denise, I appreciate that…a lot!