Earlier this week I was thinking a lot about the times that I feel inadequate or inferior…I thought enough about it to pose a question on my blog about it.
After having some time to think about that whole internal versus external thing, I’ve come to the conclusion that this too all comes down to choice. When I am in a situation where I am starting to feel inadequate the easiest thing to do is blame the situation or the person that I am interacting with; quite simply though, that isn’t fair or correct.
The human glitch.
My feeling of inadequacy is not being bestowed upon me by this other person, nor by the situation; it’s my internal glitch that is creating inadequacy from thin air. It is that glitch, that kink, in the human equation that fills us with self-doubt and feelings of being inferior or inadequate. If I CHOOSE to give a person or situation that power over me, than it shall be.
The interesting thing that has happened on my quest to understand the human experience better is that when those feelings come to us we get shut down or get angry rather than understand and grow. Trust me, I understand that it’s hard to turn toward the thing that is causing you anguish but if you don’t you are doomed to live a life of reliving that anguish. We do not grow and learn as much in times of contentment and getting our way as we do through hardship and struggle.
Embrace the struggle.
As crazy as this sounds; I know I’m right. The fact is that we are ALL going to face horrible, hideous events that will make us cry, make us sad, angry, depressed, and possibly even make us think about ending it all…so wouldn’t an ideal situation be one in which we can spin the struggles into growing moments that teach us and lead us to more appreciation?
Pollyana? Possibly, but as we all know, life is hard enough without us adding more drama to it. We need to start focusing on the fact that we are resilient, adaptive, and courageous not victims living an unfair existence. There is nothing that you have gone through that someone else, somewhere, hasn’t gone through…we are not alone yet so often we feel that nobody understands…how unfortunate.
As I’ve said in prior posts on here, I have been at the bottom dealing with depression, weak attempts at ending it all, pills, drinking, divorce, and odd family scenarios. Yet here I stand…trying to get you to understand just how possible a life of happiness and forward movement actually is once you reach that understanding that YOU do in fact hold the cards.
I have seen far too many people rise from the darkest places to become amazingly inspiring figures…and you know people like that too. We hear stories about people that have been in poverty we can’t comprehend, people that have seen the ravages of war, people that have lost limbs or that suffer from life shortening medical issues…yet they rise above and we act like we don’t have that ability too. And you know what, maybe some of us don’t, but I sure as hell am not going to sit by and fight like hell for these comfort zones that are actually my worst enemy. I choose not to feel inadequate because instead I choose to own my ability to change my perspective.
There is no excuse good enough and it’s never too late to CHOOSE a different perspective and own your role in the situation. Choose to move forward rather than sit still, choose something over nothing, choose to own your situation because then you at least have a chance.
- I hate it when I do that (matthewliberty.com)