For anyone struggling to move onto the next thing, be it a better job or more money or happiness in a relationship or pulling the trigger to end a relationship…whatever it is. The ONE thing holding anyone back is that inner wall we build between where we are and where we want to be. Your wall could be built out of fear, over analysis, waiting for the right time, or a number of other feelings or states of mind.
There is no exterior issue. It’s interior. It’s not the spouse you want to leave, the parent you’re afraid of upsetting, the boss, or your friends. Until you, on the inside, can get over that hump and break down that wall you won’t get from where you are to where you want to be.
How do I know? Because I have dealt with this crap my entire life and continue to. I have had so many moments that felt like I was about to get through that wall or over that hump but I fall back down. I retreat. I make excuses. It’s exhausting. And now, at almost 40 years old, I’m pissed that the answer to “how come I am here instead of there” is me.
I’m pissed in the sense of feeling some regret as well as feeling like I’ve let myself down. Nobody else has let me down. I cannot use someone else or their decisions in life as a crutch to success or failure. It’s me. I am the CEO of my life. Good or bad, I built this machine and I have to contend with where I am at.
Getting past all the inner excuses and getting to the point where you can openly and courageously live YOUR life as YOU…that is freedom and that is where I’m trying to get.